Angst and Awe: life as an author

It is difficult to explain to someone not ‘in the life’ as it were, just why we do this writing thing. After telling a non-writing friend about some of the technical and other difficulties I have encountered recently in getting A FRIEND Of MR. NIJINSKY into print, she quite reasonably changed the subject. What could she have said about this situation? How doing something we love leads us through such desperate angst. The Awe of feeling that rush of creation, so inevitably followed by the angst of actually getting it out to the market place. And doing it time after time. Isn’t that the definition of madness? Doing the same things, in the same way, and expecting a different outcome? A painless outcome?

“But doesn’t the publisher do that?” she said, confused. “Wouldn’t your editor do all that?”

Indeed. Would that that were still the case. But as we all know, authors are being squeezed into taking on more and more of these jobs. There are far fewer editors on staff, for one thing, and so they are handling more titles then ever before.

Lately I have found I often feel no desire to talk to anyone who is not a writer or editor. I am so involved in doing proofing, video trailers, bookmarks, handout material for events etc. that I have little left over. I do admit to a great sense of accomplishment when I have managed to master some arcane aspect of Photoshop or other software and that makes up for a lot. That is when the angst almost gives way to Awe!
Once we hold the new book in our hands, it is all worth it!

About Caro Soles

Writer in several genres, lover of dachshunds and opera, with some ballet thrown in for good measure. I founded the Bloody Words Mystery Conference, which ran for 14 years as well as the Bony Blithe Award for Canadian Light Mysteries, but that, too, has come to an end. My latest novel is The River District, a look at the seamy side of Merculian.
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1 Response to Angst and Awe: life as an author

  1. Caro, I can so relate. Over the last ten years, I have found my group of friends has changed. Almost all are authors and readers. One by one, I’ve dropped friends who have no interest in my passion, or in my books. ON the other hand, I have never been more gifted with true friends.


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